Somewhere out there, a doggy is chasing his little tail...right into traffic.

Beneath this great big sky, an idiot is burning himself with a nice warm cup of McDonald's watered - down coffee.

But none of those happy things are happening here...because it's Auntie Draco's story time!! Huzzah!

Yes, I know we just recently gathered to hear the heartwarming tale of Zero Tolerance. But this 'ere's a new tale! It's fresh! It's 100% Uh - Huh! It's the PREQUEL to ZT! Yee haa! So break out the apple juice (yes, apple juice; when I served you children ale last time, yer parents gave me hell), and listen as I spin my yarn....(Hey! I see you sneaking out! Get back in here! Suffer and perish like a good little child.)

Somewhere on this planet of monkeys and apes, a sleek black and yellow robot wanders, looking for blood. His eyes mean death. His hands could choke you like a chicken. And he has a funky cool helmet. He's an infamous bugger who goes by the name of Bass. Of course, many of you know him deep down inside yourselves. It's an icky, bloody place, somewhere close to your bowels. That's where you know him.

You may be thinking..."Who is this 'Bass'? What does he want? And whatever happened to Pez candy?"

Heh..I assure you, my little hatchlings, that there are logical answers to these questions. Bass is indeed Wily's robot, and he plays an integral role in the creation of....Oops, there I go again, blowing the plot in an intro. So, little uns, buckle your seatbelts, man the lifeboats and pray to your God. Because this is where I take you far away on a journey where we will come to the shocking realization that.....